I was nearly speechless last night, which is something of a rarity for me.
I took my two daughters out to dinner while my wife was at her monthly book club meeting. While we were waiting on our food to arrive, the oldest said she had something to tell me. The subsequent exchange went something like this…
“Ok, what is it sweetheart?”
“It’s not appropriate for little kids” she replied looking sideways at her younger sister.
“That’s ok, what is it?”
“In after-school today, Heavenly told me that Gabrielle from High School Musical took some naked pictures of herself, gave them to Troy, and then was put in jail for it.”
At this point I was at a total loss. I couldn’t explain to my 5 year old that when you get older, people seeing you naked takes on an ENTIRELY different meaning. Four years of college, 38 years (and counting) of being a smart ass and all I come with is a lame:
“I don’t think she went to jail.”
Needless to say I quickly changed the subject. I don’t think I said the wrong thing, but I didn’t exactly seize the moment and hit it out of the park. Anything more would’ve have required explanations I don’t want to give for a few more years, even then I’m sure I’ll try to put them off.
What would you have said?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m not sure how I would have handled this – I’m sure no better than you. However, the fact that she opened up and shared this (and thought about her younger sibling) speaks volumes about your and your wife’s parenting. It seems that more and more we hear about the degradation of American families, how they never talk or develop trusting relationships. Clearly this is not the case in your home. Well done!
Thanks for the kind words Jack. We work to engage both kids everyday, to ask about their day, what they did, who they played with, what they learned, what they liked and didn’t like.
It’s scary that sexuality is entering our conversations this early, but not necessarily surprising. I wonder if we should probe further into what she thinks about it, or just let it drop for now since she hasn’t brought it up. My wife and I were discussing it last night, I’m of the “let it drop for now” opinion.
Since my girl pretty much hears everything yours hears, Alex, I was grateful to get the heads-up on this one and decided to be proactive bringing up the topic.
Well, evidently they had not talked about it yet as this was all news to her. First thought was “crap. should have kept my mouth shut and avoided what I’ve now got to talk about.” But, I fumbled on into uncharted territory.
Not wanting to later try to explain why we had photos from our trip to Italy with statues of naked people and that was ok, but this was not, yet still wanting to make sure she knew if anyone should ask her to pose that way it would be wrong, I took the tact of relating it to age and art. May have been a bit over her head, though, so we also talked about how neither of us would really want anyone outside of our immediate family to see us naked.
Then, I quickly transitioned to reading her bedtime story about cute little pigs. LOL
This will all hopefully buy me some time and yet still lay a foundation for her response should the topic come up at school one day.